Aman, Apron and Quiet Morning
Assalamu'alaikum w.b.t.
Another reason I’ve started writing on my blog again is to keep it as a personal journal. I might have said this a few times already, but I imagine that one day, my son, or my children, if I’m blessed with more, might want to read this to get to know me better.
I also want to improve my writing. Being a full-time stay-at-home mother, I don’t always get the time or headspace to work on my composition skills. But here I am, trying to start again after so many years.
Writing gives me a kind of solitude, it calms me. For the past week, I’ve been onboard a vessel, working the laid-back night shift (Alhamdulillah). In that quiet, I feel more grounded and aware of my emotions. Being able to let things out this way, through writing, feels like sitting alone with my thoughts, but at the same time, sharing those thoughts with you.
I do keep a handwritten journal too, but that one is for deeper, more private reflections, things I’m not ready to share here, just yet.
I am writing this in my kaftan, with an apron on hehehehe ready for being a supermama at kitchen.
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Let me tell you a little bit about my baby boy. Let’s call him Aman.
Whenever my husband is away on his offshore trip, I always feel like Aman is the one taking care of me, instead of the other way around. Ever since he was a baby, just 2 months old. That was the first time his father being away from him after he was born.
His presence brings warmth to the house, makes it feel like a safety net. In this life, I am his mother, his guardian… but at the same time, he is my protector. That's the dynamic I see it.
When he’s happy and safe, I feel that Allah is blessing our home, making it a sanctuary for us to return to, no matter how far we go.
Alhamdulillah, we have a place to call home.
When I’m offshore, my husband and Aman usually stay with my in-laws in the kampung, just a 20-minute drive from our place. It makes logistics easier, and my husband can help assist his mother more easily while he’s there.
Recently, after I came back from offshore and my husband was due to leave, I went straight to pick up Aman from his grandma’s house right after landing at Kuching airport.
As we drove back, I asked him:
“Aman, do you know where we’re going?”
With so much confidence, he replied:
“We’re going to Mama’s home!”
He’s already started calling our house "rumah mama", because that’s where he stays when I’m around. And when I’m not, he stays with my in-laws.
I’m truly grateful for my in-laws, they’ve been nothing but wonderful. May Allah bless them, and bless us all with Jannatul Firdaus.
Aman is still asleep. He sleeps longer today. Normally S told me he'll wake up at 6. Maybe because it is rainy, drizzling, outside, maybe because it is quite here, because it's just the two of us.
So yeah, that’s what I wanted to share today. Oh, and by the way, I’ve decided to become a morning person! I started yesterday, so wish me luck! 😄
Speaking of writing, I was so happy to see that Vivy has started her blog again! It’s not Proudduck anymore, but I’m still so excited for her new entries. Like, Vivy???? Are we vibing on the same wavelength, frequency now??? Hahaha.
Her new blog is called “Sincerely, Vivy.”
Okay, till next time.
23.4.25
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